WIAW #3 – No Worries

Carbs on carbs on carbs on carbs……that was my Tuesday this week ya’ll. The bond that can’t be broken <3 Welcome to this week’s What I Ate Wednesday!

In between today’s eats I want to talk a little bit about worry. I always tell people that I could win awards for my worrying. Anyone else a little like me? Dwelling on things I can’t control is my jam.

Breakfast was the end of an almond butter jar with raspberries, blackberries, oatmeal, and almond milk. And an unpictured vat of coffee.

I’ve been doing a lot better with my worrying heart thanks to the assistance of wonderful metal health professionals [insert praise hands emoji] and a whole lot of internal work. This week I cycled back into some serious worrying and I did NOT like the way it felt. Like WOAH. How did I live like that for so many years????????? #progress

It was amazing to very literally feel the progress I have made, but also terrible to experience those pangs of anxiety back in my heart again. So I’ve started doing some reflecting on this worry.

Followed by the head of a dark chocolate bunny. I quite literally ate the torso off of this bunny at work….no shame.

God has put some super sweet things in place this week to help my worrying self. Has anyone read The Light in The Heart? It’s a sweet book about filling our lives with positivity and happiness because our thoughts lead to our beliefs about ourselves. There are a couple quotes that come from this book that are quite famous actually. You may have heard these before.

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell on the past, do not worry about the future, focus fully on living in the present.”

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”

-Roy T Bennett

I ran out of time to pack my lunch so it was a sushirrito for lunch – have you guys had these? It’s sushi made into a burrito! Currently trying not to get soy sauce all over the paper in this photo. Ingredients = chicken, green onions, asparagus, carrots, sprouts, mango, avocado, rice <3 Dipped in soy sauce.

Those words really struck my heart this week although they seem so obvious. Funny how certain things speak to you at different times in life. I have to speak honestly when I say that I’m not too good at this yet. I’m learning how not to dwell on the past, I am trying to live in the present, but I find myself worrying about the future. It’s those things out of my control that really get to me. But that’s just it – they’re out of my control.

2 apples and tons of this amazing nut butter for snack because carbs are life. I’m also a bottomless pit. 

That out of control component has never really clicked for me before. Probably because I really, really don’t like it, but the first step is acknowledging it right? If you are someone who worries about what might happen in every possible scenario (like me) or perhaps who replays every conversation they have ever had to analyze every word (also like me), I invite you to take comfort in the fact that we do not have control over those things. The past cannot be undone, and the future cannot be determined. Both aggravating and relaxing all at the same time, right?

Cocktail hour! My new favorite after work drink: TJ’s purple carrot juice, orange juice, and sparkling raspberry water

Focussing on the present, the here, the now is really helping me because that is where I actually have control. I have the power to create, change, and impact in the present.

I am really trying to “shift my energy to what I can create” which actually brings me to my music and this space right here. And those things are bringing me allll the good vibes right now.

Date night happy hour dinner at Davanti’s in Little Italy

Pinot Grigio for me and Aperol Spritz for the Italian

My counselor recently said to me that God uses all things to create good even when we cannot see it. That’s another statement I’ve heard a lot of times, but never seen played out. Right now I feel like that is being played out everywhere I turn and it makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time. It’s kind of overwhelming to think that the hurt and the pain we have experienced might actually serve a purpose. And I have been seeing that daily in the communications I have shared with my friends, family, and all of you right here.

We split mozzarella stuffed meatballs with grilled bread, parm cheese, and san marzano tomatoes and a delicious ricotta pasta dish

followed by this beautiful delicious burger and fries

I’ve dreamt of going back to school for more degrees, traveling the world to study my craft in different countries, becoming a full-time professional singer on the most renowned stages of the world, and so much more. But my my new dream is to serve a purpose to others, and for the first time in my life, living in the present is feeling pretty dang good.

xo, B

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